When did I ever tell it to start!?

It’s my fucking network. If I want to stick a scanner on it, I bloody well will – Windows Firewall, the presumptuous son of a bitch, can go bugger itself with an ethernet cable of something!

Anyway, that minor hassle was overcome and the scanner worked fine, allowing me access to the hastily scribbled placeholder images that have now been amateurishly dumped on the page. Bum.

So, it’s day two of the grand redesign and I’m making painfully slow progress – if progress can now be used as a substitute for going-fucking-backwards. Seriously, all I’ve done is stripped down anything and everything that looked nice about the blog and slapped on a post-modern “created by a retarded kid” style. Which is obviously cool, but not what I hoped.

What’s even scarier? I have no idea where to go next. How do you even start designing a Wordpress theme? I say it again…bum.

For the archives…this is where I stood on this day:

Related posts:

1. The Blog version 0.1

Unfortunately I didn’t, and so it looks like I’m going to have to do something I wished I could avoid. I’m going to have to actually think about this. My initial plan for ‘everything to just work out alright’ was proven ‘fucking moronic’ to put it bluntly and I’m now resigned to putting pencil to paper and come up with a plan.

The reason I was hoping to avoid this eventuality wasn’t because I hate letting my imagination run riot in a sketchpad; it’s more because I’m going to create myself an ideal that will then need to be reached using my sadly limited skills.

This will require a return to the old days.

The problem is that the old days involved working for fourteen hours straight in front of a computer with only regular cigarette breaks and shit-loads of tea to keep me focussed. If anyone’s given some consideration to the fact that I haven’t created anything new in approximately one billion years, it’s because I can no longer continue that kind of lifestyle.

There are several reasons why this is; not least because I have chronic gut rot that limits the number of cups of tea I can drink before dying (shameless exaggeration, but you get the point).

Regardless, I have recently decided to never again say the words “I didn’t have time”. You hear it too much these days. People don’t have time to spend with their kids, to separate their recyclable rubbish, to call the local chav a twat as they drive by… Not enough time is such an easy excuse to use – and I figure I can come up with better ones.

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Which is a look I’m still kinda happy with. Mainly because it ties in quite well with my website design, which may also need to be changed sometime in the future (though I’ll be sad to see it go – a tear almost came to my eye the other day when I found the sketchbook with the original design concept in).

This current design is based on the pDawn theme by Rash with a few minor tweaks by me to maintain the brooding, subtle demeanour of the homepage. My plan is to make a new theme which I can rightfully call my own work and which is a lot bolder than this incarnation. Hopefully I’ll learn something too – cos if I don’t I’m fucked.

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This looks like it will cramp your hand worse than if you were bound with your hands behind your back and sealed in a small crate for five hours wanking off an impotent octogenarian. All this reeks of a lack of imagination. With the DS’s built-in microphone they could have released Harmonica Hero: On Tour with a similar set-up. That’d be much better.

Read all about it.

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